Give it a Guess
by Skylarking
Summary: What would be Eames's name?  Ariadne takes it upon herself to figure it out. And obviously, Eames has his fun with it.


Eames walked, no, sauntered into the warehouse they were renting to prepare for their latest job with the coffee he'd left to get when Ariadne stopped her mid-sentence conversation with Dominic Cobb to turn to him.

"Eames."

He was holding the tray and the one extra cup carefully. "Ariadne?"

"What's your name?"

The others in the room chuckled. "I think you know...you just called me by it."

Ariadne crossed her arms from the other side of the large room and 'humphed'. "I want to know your FIRST name. Because Arthur always calls you Mr Eames."

Eames shook his head, "That darling, is because our Mr Arthur is a special lad."

Faintly from a cubicle like area set up as a temporary office the group heard, "Shut up, Mr Eames."

Eames laughed and addressed the group at large in a stage whisper, "He's only angry because he hasn't had his java fix yet."

"Really Eames, I want to know." Ariadne was just so...Ariadne-ish. She was dressed as usual in dark blue jeans, some random top and her red sweater. She just seemed so...young. She looked as though she were going to pull her long brown hair out of her head if she didn't find out his first name. Tsk. So Arthur like.

Yusuf, who decided that this not-so-legal business was a lot more fun than his other not-so-legal business had stuck with them after his first job, laughed. "Ariadne, no one apart from Arthur knows Eames's first name."

"Well how did he figure it out?"

"He promised me his first born." Eames replied without missing a beat.

"Har-har."

"You know, you could offer me your first born too..."

Ariadne threw her arms straight to her sides. "You cannot have my first born child Eames for your name. It's not like you spun gold from straw for me."

Dom was laughing to himself.

Eames finished handing out the drinks and kissed Arthur on the cheek then seated himself on one of the rusty old lawn chairs and took a drink. He relished the burn and the bitter taste. So much for the English and their tea.

He finished swallowing and opened his arms wide, "Why don't you give it a guess princess? You've got three tries till I get your first born." He gestured to her as though he could see the child already.

"Eames." It was unmistakable the warning in her tone. He thought it was endearing and furrowed his eye brows as she was.

"Ariadne."

There was a long pause and Arthur yelled out, "You are actually funny Eames...when it's not directed at me."

"Fine. How many letters?"

"This isn't twenty questions luv. Just give it a guess."

The others had gone off to their own corners to work while they were on their caffeine high; you get a shocking amount accomplished.

Arthur walked out leisurely with his large cup in hand and was leaning against a wall watching the bickering.

Ariadne turned to him immediately. "What's his name?" He had just taken a big gulp and nodded his head 'no'. He was NOT getting involved. "Ok, what's the most popular name in England?"

"Joshua, as of August 2010."

Eames stared, "Why do you know that?" Arthur just shrugged.

Ariadne shook her head, "That's most recent? But no, you aren't a Joshua. That's a religious name."

Eames scoffed, "And my parents can't be religious. Do you know God's Prayer?"

"Of course not."

"Well, I do."

"That doesn't make you a Joshua."

"Is that your guess?"

Ariadne mumbled incoherently to herself about this great injustice. "What if I take you out for drinks? Then would you tell me?"

"Ariadne, luv, I thought I made it very clear. All I want from you is your first born. That's why not even Dom knows, Mal wouldn't give me Phillipa."

"Don't scare off the architect, she's the best we've got and the best we will find." Ariadne blushed at the uncharacteristic compliment cold hearted Dom paid her. And yet, it wasn't enough to distract.

"Actually no, but I guess Daniel, I think Daniel is your name. Daniel Eames, it sounds nice and it is religious as well."

Eames shrugged to her, still clutching his coffee. "Ariadne-Ariadne-Ariadne" his voice dropped a tone on each perfectly accented formation of her name. "Princess, that brings you to two more guesses. Whatever will your dear husband think when you hand over your first precious child to Uncle Eames?"

Arthur nodded with him, "That would be an awkward story." Ariadne glared at him, he was offering no help.

"I think you're wrong-"

"Luv, my name isn't Daniel."

"No, about this three guess thing. Don't I get to name off a whole bunch till I get it right?"

Eames smirked, "No princess, it's not like I spun gold from straw for you."

"Fine, James, that's a good, formal, fool proof name."

This game was fun. "And again luv, you guessed wrong. One more chance."

"Why are you so..." she trailed off, not sure how to finish without adding an explicit.

"Why am I so...fabulous? Charming? Charismatic? Dashing? Cunning? Intelligent? Good at what I do? Truly fascinating questions but flattery, darling, won't get you my name."

Ariadne turned to Arthur briefly "How do you do it?" Arthur just shrugged.

Ariadne was momentarily silent. Acting as though he would really take her first born, as though they were playing for keeps. They weren't, obviously...there were laws against that. Weren't there? Well, there should be.

Everyone had emerged from their holes to find what she would take as her final guess.

"I guess..."

"Yes, luv?"

"I think your name is..."

"Come now princess, this is for your first born. Think hard and choose carefully."

"I say,"

"Now you're sure? Cross your heart and stick a needle in your eye."

Arthur jumped in to break the tension, "No, Eames, a needle in the eye? That's so...so unhygienic."

"Were you never a child darling? Did you never use the saying when promising to keep a secret?"

Arthur pouted, Eames's heart broke, what an anal child he must've been.

"Rumpelstilskin"

The room went dead quiet.

"And that's your final answer, for your child you're sure?"

Ariadne nodded with certainty and said with conviction. "You are Rumpelstiltskin Eames."

Eames threw his arms to the air. "You have solved the great mystery of the one and only Mr Eames, my name just happens to be Rumplestiltskin! Ariadne, you, princess, get to keep your first born!"

Ariadne's face lit up with disbelieve and pride, "Really?" Her voice was just above a whisper.

"No." Eames replied flatly. "You can keep your first born though. I've already been promised Arthur's."

The group broke off back to their desks laughing. Ariadne looked so sad.

"Oh, luv, you can't know my first name but I'll take you to lunch and buy you ice cream."

"I'm a college student and you believe ice cream with mend my broken heart?"

"Yes."

"Fine, I want ice cream."

Arthur slipped his hand into Eames's as they were walking out. "But Rumplestiltskin, you promised me ice cream too."

* * *

><p><strong>I just don't understand insisting on Eames having another name thing but once I started thinking about it I wanted so badly to know what it is...so I decided to go with it. I think I'm funny but I seem to be a minority so hope you enjoyed! <strong>


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